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heymikewaskom:

It’s reported that Kurt Cobain committed suicide somewhere between 4 April and 8 April, 1994, and that last album he listened to was R.E.M.’s Automatic For the People. This is significant, for a lot of reasons. A.F.T.P. does not particularly seem like a dark album, to me. Even the album’s go-to sad song, “Everybody Hurts”, (sometimes) isn’t really that dark, but more sad to me. Though it’s sad with a hopeful message. It’s more of “here, we’re here to help you, you’re not alone” song. Though it is sad. It’s interesting that in the moments or hours or whatever, before Kurt pulled that trigger he was listening to R.E.M.

What song was he listening to, I wonder? It’s easy to point directly to a track like “Everybody Hurts” and think that maybe he sat there on the couch chain smoking, rocking back and forth, looking at that brand new shotgun, hearing “When the day is long, and the night” and scoffing “Everybody hurts. Take comfort in your friends.” Thinking that no one was there for him. “Everybody hurts. Don’t throw your hand.” and lighting another cigarette, rewinding the tape. “Don’t let yourself go… hold on.” Turning off the tape. Getting up to look out the window. Pressing play again.

Tonight I’ve choosen “Find The River”

“Watch the road and memorize
This life that pass before my eyes.
Nothing is going my way.”

Michael Stipe tenderly singing, “None of this is going my way”, and he sit there sighs. He hears the last strains of the song “The river empties to the tide, all of this is coming your way” and he decides. Simple as that. Choices. We make them every day. Who knows what will come? I don’t. I’ve stopped looking around the corner. Maybe Kurt did too. I don’t know. This record and this song don’t seem like the kind of record I’d listen to before I killed myself. It’s perhaps a sad record, but not dark. But who knows why anyone does anything. I certainly don’t know why Kurt did it, nor do I really wanna know. Speculation aside, drug use, chronic pain—whatever. What’s done is done. Just the words are what’s left.

Last October I wrote a bit about R.E.M. and Kurt Cobain. Not a year later, I’m a whole entire different person and while the song perhaps means something different to me now, I wasn’t wrong. R.E.M. is gone and all that’s left are the words.

heymikewaskom

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  1. white-limo reblogged this from heymikewaskom
  2. heymikewaskom reblogged this from heymikewaskom and added:
    Last October I wrote a bit about R.E.M. and Kurt Cobain. Not a year later, I’m a whole entire different person and while...
  3. emmakempsell said: I used to be pretty obsessed with Kurt Cobain, and for some reason I vaguely remember something about how they worked out that the last song he heard was Man On The Moon.
  4. monsterbeard said: Kurt Cobain did not kill himself. He was murdered. I truly believe this.
  5. flannelowl said: Coincidence? Today at work I ran two showings of REM’s new live Austin City Limits DVD as part of the pre-release party. It was sort of nerve-racking, but in the end it all went my way. Anyway, REM has sorta defined my week.
  6. littlegoo reblogged this from heymikewaskom and added:
    This is fucking amazing.
  7. babrahamlincoln said: very interesting.
  8. heymikewaskom posted this

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