Or was it the way I broke down in front of you both, delirious, embarrassed and ashamed, begging for some sort of explanation? It doesn’t matter. Anymore, anyway. But I need you to know that THIS is the fracture. This is the crack where two years of laughter and adventure and people telling me I’d never looked happier live now. All of the good swallowed into the vacancy of your eyes, the coldness in your voice and the way you cavalierly dismissed the trembling mess that stood before you repeatedly asking why.

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