PROPOSAL -- THE FIRST NIHILIST IPHONE APP.

PROPOSAL — THE FIRST NIHILIST IPHONE APP.

Horizon One™. When you first run it, it won’t even open. The icon will pulse and move — seeming, almost, to grow — before becoming still, cold, and dead. The color will fade from it — a condition that will spread to other icons nearby. Sometimes you will imagine it winking at you, at others you will forget you ever bought the application at all. At yet other times, you will want taffy. Because taffy is delicious.

From then on Horizon One™ will take control of your phone. It will pore through your applications, learning about you. “How are your teeth?” it will ask, hours after you miss a dental appointment it removed from your calendar. You will visit your contacts list, only to discover that every information field in every profile has been replaced with the question “when are you not yourself?”

The shopping list you keep in Notes will be amended — “milk, eggs, deliver my eternal soul from nothingness.” Horizon One™ will send you e-mails from a you that is apparently drifting in a void, asking for help. They will become increasingly desperate, and frenzied. You will receive these e-mails until you realize that the void is life, and you are caught in its grip. Upon this epiphany, Horizon One™ will brick your phone, allowing you to see only the lock screen. The wallpaper has changed — a picture of you, in chains, forever screaming. Slide to unlock. Slide to unlock.

Also Twitter integration.

This made my morning.

aedison